In today’s world, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. For over two years we have had to deal with a pandemic and all the inconsistency in guidance that came with it… first, masks are not necessary -> masks now mandatory; nationwide lockdowns implemented -> lockdowns lifted -> ops, go back into lockdown… if it’s the third Thursday of the month and you’re wearing a blue shirt, you don’t need to wear a mask… unless you’re within 3.917 feet of someone, then you must turn two times counter-clockwise and put on a mask… you get the point. Now at year three, most people have come to the realization that the virus is here to stay and is something we’re just going to have to live with. Just when it seemed like there was light at the end of the tunnel, the Nation is now experiencing record inflation, the likes of which hasn’t been seen in over 40 years, and the likelihood of a recession seems to be a growing possibility. Given this, in addition to all of the other things in life we deal with on a daily bases, it’s understandable that we might feel overwhelmed.
This might sound overly simplistic, or “out of touch”, but things are only as difficult or unpleasant as we choose to define them. Yes, the cost of practically everything has been increasing, but fretting over what you can’t control won’t make things more affordable. No matter how dire or “bad” a situation may seem in the moment, there is always a positive opportunity… if you choose to recognize it.
A few months back I presented a perspective of living a peaceful life. For me, I evaluate my contentment and the level of peacefulness of my life by the frequency I smile and laugh. Smiling and laughter are known to have several positive affects – decreases blood pressure, relaxes your muscles and slows your heart rate. It can also decrease stress and improve your outlook and perspective. Laughter decreases cortisol levels in the body, which is the stress-producing hormone. Given these reasons, and many others, it’s important to incorporate smiles and laughter into our lives as often as we can.
Despite everything that is going on in the world, I still manage to find joy in the simple things. I have a very small garden in the back yard, and tending to it brings a sense of satisfaction and relaxation. In one section I have asparagus growing, which comes back each year, and the amount seems to be increasing. So far this season I have harvested over 100 stalks, and more will be ready soon. I find it rewarding seeing all of the stalks growing, knowing I’ll have amazing fresh asparagus… so much so, that I’m able to share some with my neighbors. In another section I’m growing tomatoes and a couple of potato plants. When I’m tending to the garden, occasionally I will see a few bees flying between the plants in search of, and collecting pollen. In those instances, I see how interconnected everything is. The plants and vegetables I’m tending to can’t develop and produce without being pollenated… and the bees provide that function. I might not visibly smile, but inside I do because I recognize I’m providing a source of pollen for the bees, and they are pollenating my plants so they can produce.
Another contributing aspect of my peaceful life consist of enjoying some relaxing time sitting on the front porch… maybe with a glass of wine. While on the front porch, I’ll remember how my oldest daughter and I would sit on the porch and talk about different things before she left for the military. Sometimes it would be about her progress in preparing for basic training, other times it would be a casual conversation… regardless of the nature of our conversation, they always seemed to include a few laughs. Now when I’m on the front porch I’m by myself, but I still smile because I’m reminded of the conversations and laughter we shared together.
As for laughter, I find I’m laughing more frequently at things these days… maybe it’s early onset of dementia? Or maybe I’ve come to recognize that how I choose to react to things is what matters, not forming emotional opinions. As a result, I don’t worry about much if it’s something outside of my control. Another factor that I’ve come to accept and embrace is the fact that I’m a guy, and like all guys, we have a recessive caveman gene… some are just better at hiding it than others. Now I’m not talking, knuckles dragging on the ground caveman… more like, laugh at stupid $hit kind of guy caveman… and I’ve been laughing a lot lately. Occasionally I’ll find myself watching an old animated TV show my daughters would watch when they were younger. At the time I didn’t pay much attention to the shows, but now I’m realizing how much subtle adult humor there was in those shows. At times I’ll actually laugh out loud a little if I watch them. Maybe it’s that recessive caveman gene, but I find some of them pretty funny…. go caveman.
Other times it’s just goofy “Dad humor” that I impose on my daughters. With my youngest daughter, more often than not, she just looks at me with that “Are you done?” look on her face. But eventually I manage to get her to break down and smile. As for my oldest daughter, since she is half way across the country, I have to put in a little more effort. When she was going through basic training, I was sending her letters twice a week because I knew it would help keep her spirits up. In those letters I would either include a terrible hand drawing of us doing something silly, or include a terrible “Dad joke”. Something along the lines of: “How many apples grow on a tree? All of them!…. haha.” A year later and I still send her letters. Sometimes I’ll send her something silly, because I know it will cause her to roll her eyes, but knowing she will still smile and shake her head and say to herself, “That’s my Dad.” We’re all familiar with the song Bingo…. “There was a farmer who had a dog, and Bingo was his name-o.” So who was Bingo? The farmer or the dog?… hmmmm.
The frequency in which I smile and laugh are the litmus test I use to evaluate how peaceful and balanced my life is. We all get older, but laughter can be like a fountain of youth. No matter what life throws at you, you’re only as happy as you choose to be… channel the inner kid in you and laugh.