When questioned why he had given up a prominent career as a scientist and engineer to become a farmer, Galen Erso simply replied, “It’s a peaceful life.”
This simple response can have a profound and positive impact on our lives if we take a moment and ask ourselves, “What is a peaceful life?” The answer is, it’s a matter of perspective, and everyone’s perspective is different. However, we have a tendency to look for reasons why things aren’t as we want them to be in order to justify why we complain, or aren’t happy with our situation. The funny thing is, we tell ourselves we are in charge of our own lives and make our own decisions, yet we point to external reasons when things don’t go the way we want or we aren’t happy.
We are in charge of our own lives and we do make our own decisions, so it falls on us to decide if we are to have a peaceful life. Determining what is a peaceful life isn’t difficult, and as I previously indicated, is a matter of perspective. It does take some effort and is an exercise of mindfulness, but through persistence and consistency, you will begin to realize your quality of life is improving.
Perspective – it all comes down to perspective and how we choose to view and interpret the things we experience. The other day while running errands with my daughter, my car got a nail in the tire. The initial reaction upon discovering it was of frustration. But then I reminded myself that the nail in the tire wasn’t good or bad, it was just a nail, and there is a shop near my home that repairs flat tires at no cost. We have a tendency to define things as good or bad, and assign value to things falsely which often results in an undesirable emotional response. I would have preferred to not get a nail in the tire, but I did, so I took advantage of the situation and saw it as an opportunity to walk to a nearby ice cream shop with my daughter while the tire was being repaired.
When we define things as good or bad, or assign value to things falsely, we are adding unnecessary stress to our lives and drift further away from a peaceful life. If you accumulate large amounts of debt because you feel it’s important to have a lot of expensive things, then you shouldn’t complain about not having more financial flexibility. This financial stress was self-induced and completely avoidable. I have a younger brother who often complains about how he is living paycheck to paycheck. He is a prime example of assigning value to things falsely. In this day and age, everyone knows smoking is bad for your health, yet my brother chooses to smoke several packs of cigarettes a day. He is extremely over weight and almost always eats fast food and rarely cooks at home. Not only does this negatively impact his health, but also contributes to his complaining about living paycheck to paycheck. In the past I have assisted him financially, but stopped when he commented about taking a trip to the beach with the stimulus money he received during the pandemic last year. To him it was more important to go to the beach instead of paying down his debt, yet he will complain about his financial situation. He complains about his knees and back bothering him, yet he continues to smoke and constantly eat fast food and makes no effort to improve his health. He chooses to continue to do these things, yet complains about his financial situation and health condition, and how stressful things are for him.
Living a peaceful life doesn’t mean you isolate yourself from everyone and everything. Don’t try to focus on several aspects at once because you risk overwhelming yourself and feeling frustrated. Start slowly and focus on one aspect at a time, and when you feel as though you’re making progress and it has become a part of your daily routine, expand your efforts. Starting out with something as simple as sitting quietly for 10 minutes a day. Find a comfortable place in your home, turn off the TV, don’t play any music, and put your phone on ‘do not disturb’. Sit comfortably and start by breathing slowly and deeply, about five seconds to inhale and five seconds to exhale. Once you’ve established this rhythm, try to clear your mind and not think of anything specific. It’s natural for your mind to wander and you will catch yourself thinking about something. When you recognize this, clear your mind again and continue. Maintain your slow rhythmic breathing and just listen to the quiet around you; you might notice the hum of the refrigerator, the wind blowing outside, or maybe the sounds of traffic in the distance. Try to make this part of your daily routine and you will feel more relaxed and less stressed.
Living a peaceful life also requires altering how we view things and the opinions we form of those things. Accomplishing this requires the most effort and is an exercise that must be practiced throughout the day, every day. I live in an area where the population of the metroplex is over 8 million and the roadway infrastructure has been poorly designed, so it stands to reason traffic congestion is a common occurrence. Before, I use to get frustrated with the traffic and irritated with how the other drivers seemed to be so inconsiderate towards the other drivers around them. Now, my perception is different and I’ve recognized and accepted that by living in an area with such a large population and a poorly designed roadway infrastructure, traffic congestion is going to occur and is to be expected, and getting frustrated over it serves no purpose and adds no value to my life. My irritation with the other drivers was also in error because their behavior was the result of their own lack of acceptance that traffic congestion is a natural occurrence when a large population and poorly designed roadways are combined. Now, when I find myself in traffic, I recognize and accept it for what it is and enjoy being able to listen to music a little bit longer while I drive.
Throughout the day I recognize opportunities to challenge myself to view things for what they are and to try and avoid associating value judgements to them. Some days I’m more successful than others, and I don’t get disappointed when I feel I could have done better, it’s all a learning experience.
By altering our perspective to recognize things for what they are, and avoiding falsely assigning value to things, we simplify our lives and create a more peaceful environment. Happiness and a peaceful life are not found in external things, it is found within ourselves…. It’s a peaceful life.