At some point during our childhood we’ve all entertained the idea of living forever. However, over time that fantasy faded from our thoughts and was gradually replaced with an increasing number of responsibilities as we grew older. We focused on life goals, be it: getting through college, moving up the career ladder, starting a family, saving for that dream vacation, planning for retirement, etc.
When we were young, we couldn’t wait to reach different milestone ages; such as thirteen, because we officially became a teenager. Then it was sixteen, because we could get our driver’s license and our sense of freedom expanded. After that, it was eighteen because we became a legal adult; and that was followed by twenty-one, because we could legally drink. The funny thing about life is that when we were younger, those milestones seemed like they would never arrive… then, one day we wake up and the reality is we have fewer years left before we are able to retire than it takes to graduate from college. When we were young, time didn’t seem to go by quick enough; now we’re older and it seems like it’s going by too fast and we can’t slow it down. Along the way we allowed ourselves to be distracted with trying to achieve the next goal, and lost sight of how to actually live our lives.
At some point during our later years we might ask ourselves, “How will I be remembered? What will my legacy be?” If you find yourself asking a question like that… STOP! The more important question we should be asking ourselves is, “How well have I been living my life?” We shouldn’t be worried about how we will be remembered once we’re gone; we should be focusing on having a positive impact while we are alive. By doing so, that is how we will be remembered, through the positive experiences we shared with others.
“Death is what gives life meaning, to know your days are numbered, your time is short.”
When I was young and growing up, I remember spending a lot of time with my grandmother. I would spend hours watching and helping her in the kitchen. Practically everything she cooked or baked, she did so from scratch. My homemade bread doesn’t come close to hers, but when I make homemade bread, it reminds me of her and the time we spent together in the kitchen. I only wish I was able to get her recipes while she was alive. She is the reason I enjoy cooking so much and also taught myself how to sew, so I could make each of my daughters quilts.
I also remember the countless trips I went on with my dad. Not only did I get to see parts of the country I might not have otherwise, but we shared those experiences together. Those trips created opportunities for us to interact in ways that is different than when at home, and it became a cornerstone of our relationship. The internet and cellphones didn’t exist then, and when we were on our trips, there was no TV either. It was family time in the purest sense, and we still talk about those trips. Because of the experiences my dad gave me when I was younger, it instilled in me a sense for adventure and exploring that I still have to this day.
Being the father of two daughters, as they’ve grown up, I’ve tried to pass along the experiences I had with my grandmother and dad to them. At an early age I would involve them in the preparing of our meals, teaching them things that one can only learn by doing. Reading a recipe or watching a How-To video online isn’t enough, learning how different foods, cookware, and temperatures interact requires hands-on experience. Over the years we have collected various recipes that we tweaked to reflect our palette preferences and are now some of our family favorites. Because I wasn’t able to preserve any of the recipes from my grandmother, I wanted to ensure what my daughters and I collected wouldn’t also become lost, so I printed all of them and consolidated them into family cookbook binders for each of them.
I’ve also taken my daughters on various trips and exposed them to nature and camping at an early age. My goal was to recreate similar experiences and interaction with them as my dad had done with me. Not only did our trips give my daughters memorable experiences, but it was also an opportunity to share with them some of the exact things my dad did with me when I was their ages. I recall my dad taking me to Yosemite, Yellowstone, the Red Woods of California, Mount Rushmore, and so many other places. I have such wonderful memories of those places and trips. I’ve taken my daughters to those same places because I wanted to share those experiences with them, and to see the same amazement and wonder in their eyes that my dad got to see in mine.
The memories and experiences I’ve had with both my grandmother and dad have had such a positive impact on me that I’ve felt it’s important to share aspects of it with my daughters, as a way of paying respect to the type of people they were/are. Also, by doing so the memory of my grandmother, and at some point in the future, the memory of my dad will continue to live on with my daughters.
By taking my daughters on trips just as my dad did with me, and creating a family cookbook that is inspired by my grandmother, I’m passing along an aspect of them to my daughters. As my daughters go through life, if they make their own additions to the family cookbooks I gave them, they will be contributing to and building upon part of our family story. And should either of them have families of their own and take their children on family trips and eventually pass down the family cookbook, they will be passing along our family history and experiences. And when they do that, they will be keeping the memory of the family members who came before them alive… enabling them to live forever.
Live a good life and leave people with positive experiences, and you can potentially live forever.